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Spending a school fund

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 22:23:13 +0000

Q: Having decided not to go to college, our son Kyle wants us to give him the money we saved for his education. He says that since we paid to send his sister to school, he deserves a comparable sum. Could he be right?

A: Contrary to what your son may believe, your money is not his money. True, parents often try to be equally generous with their kids, out MORE

Still sponging off mom and dad

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:52:28 +0000

Q: Our sons are in their late 20s and have good jobs, but they never pay for anything when they're with my husband and me (they live on their own). Whether it's a family vacation, a dinner out or popcorn and a movie, Tim and Nick automatically expect us to pick up every tab. My husband says he's sick of their sponging and wants to "change the rules." But since MORE

Help! My bill got bumped up

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 22:06:02 +0000

Q: When I sold my condo last spring, the homeowners association billed the escrow for my share of painting the building. Now the association says it made a mistake, and I owe $750 more. Am I obliged to pay this?

A: "Hang on, you owe us more money": That's got to be one of the most unwelcome phrases in the English language.

If you knew the original bill was wrong, you MORE

Squandering a minor’s trust fund

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 21:52:52 +0000

Question: When our sister died ten years ago, my brother became the trustee of her five-year-old daughter's trust. Drew invested Mandy's money in a business he was starting, and Mandy received stock in return. The business folded this year, and now the stock is worthless. Shouldn't Drew repay our niece the money he lost? He says what happened is nobody's fault.

Answer: That's just the way the investment cookie crumbles, is MORE

When marriage means medical bills

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 15:33:42 +0000

Q: My fiancé, Alan, recently had a heart attack. If we go ahead with the wedding, he will be covered by my health insurance (he has none), but I'll become liable for all his current medical bills. What should I do?

A: Like Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca, you've been misinformed. Individuals are not legally liable for debts their spouses incurred before they were married. As a practical matter, though, those MORE

Lending to a flakey friend

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:26:06 +0000

Question: Is there anything wrong with asking a good friend to secure the loan I'm giving him with the title to his car? Tom really needs the money, but he can be pretty irresponsible, and I don't want my $2,500 to become a gift.

Answer: In a word, No. And in two words, Absolutely Not.

Lending a flakey friend that kind of dough is a very generous thing to do, and MORE

Dad’s girlfriend is bleeding him dry

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:34:31 +0000

Q: My parents were always careful with money. But since Mom died, Dad has taken up with a much wealthier widow and is blowing through his savings entertaining her. Isn't she wrong to let him undermine his financial security like that?

A: Maybe. The key question: Is your dad's lady friend in the dark as to his resources or is she just uncaring? If your father has been pretending to MORE

Replacing a returned gift

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 21:26:14 +0000

Question: A friend gave me a subscription to a magazine I don't care for. When I canceled after one issue, the magazine sent the refund to Gretchen. I don't want to seem small, but especially since I'd given her a nice present, shouldn't Gretchen have given that money —- or another gift —- to me?

Answer: Call us unsentimental, but gift-giving is a transaction as well as a pleasure. And, usually, MORE

‘Do I still have to pay him back?’

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 11:58:53 +0000

Question: My boyfriend lent me $12,000, saying to repay him when I could. Six months later, when I broke up with him and didn't pay the loan back right away, he e-mailed my friends, family and new boyfriend revealing secrets I'd told only to him. He also e-mailed prospective clients of my new business saying I was unreliable and untrustworthy. Especially since I lost customers because of Adam, am I MORE

When advice is one-sided

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 20:49:49 +0000

Question: Karen, my otherwise good financial adviser, often e-mails me articles on Obama's handling of the economy. These pieces are politically one-sided, and it's not my side. Should I complain?

Answer: Very irritating, these folks with an ax to grind who relentlessly forward "interesting" e-mails to everyone they know.

Of course you can ask Karen to stop with the clipping service. But there's another issue here. We presume that her financial MORE

When siblings split the bills

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 21:01:13 +0000

Question: The stock market wiped out my elderly parents' savings. My two sisters and I now have to help with their bills. How should we divide them, given that some of us have more money and some of us have more kids?

Answer: Hold on. Before you divvy the bills, there's a lot more to consider than bank accounts and kids. What if, for example, one sister is providing most MORE

Living with an ex, sharing the bills

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 14:05:56 +0000

Question: My husband and I are divorced (no kids), but we've been unable to sell our house, so we're both still living in it. Since I'm away a lot on business, shouldn't he be paying more than half of the utility bills?

Answer: But what if you take longer showers?

We're not kidding. There are countless ways you and your ex consume water and energy unequally. Perhaps one of you likes to MORE

Tipping vs. bribing your bartender

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:17:49 +0000

Question: A friend who goes out a lot tells me he tips 25-30 percent in bars, so bartenders are always giving him free drinks. Jake says everyone knows to do this. Even if they do, isn't this cheating the bar owner? Answer: A penguin goes into a bar and says to the bartender "Have you seen my father?" The bartender says "I don't know. What's he look like?"

Don't bartenders put up MORE

Picking up a friend’s bar tab

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 20:11:22 +0000

Question: We often eat out with another couple, always dividing the check 50/50. Since Pam and I are economizing these days, we no longer order drinks in restaurants. Our friends do, though, and they don't seem to notice that splitting the check has become an awfully good deal for them. I think they should offer to pay for their booze, but Pam thinks our long-standing 50/50 arrangement is fine. Who's MORE

Bigger job, same salary

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Tue, 19 May 2009 20:24:21 +0000

Question: My boss recently laid off a lot of people. As a result, she's given me much more responsibility - but no raise and no better title. Is this fair? She says she won't promote me until she sees how I do.

Answer: Call it a wild guess, but we're betting your boss didn't lay those people off just to be mean. We agree that in a perfect world, an MORE

Should wedding guests have to sign a waiver?

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Tue, 05 May 2009 20:39:26 +0000

By Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D. and Leonard Schwarz

Question: My fiancé's wealthy aunt and uncle agreed to let us use their beautiful lake-view home for our wedding, and we've sent out the invitations. But now they're insisting that each guest sign a form releasing them from any liability in the event of an accident. I'm appalled. Are they being unreasonable, or am I just naive?

Answer: You're naïve only if you imagine that liability MORE

When a deal is a steal

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 21:21:50 +0000

By Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D. and Leonard Schwarz

Question: My husband has negotiated a price for painting our house that's significantly lower than a bid we got a while back from the same small business. I think he may be taking unfair advantage of people who are hurting in the recession. Is he?

Answer: Remember the good old days - you know, two years ago? As we recall, painters weren't reluctant to push MORE

Can a parent spend the kids’ inheritance?

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 21:17:05 +0000

by Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D. and Leonard Schwarz

Question: Two years ago my father left a large inheritance to my brother's young girls - that is, to his grandchildren. Recently my brother used all of it, plus some of his own money, to buy a vacation home for his family (he says there are good deals out there these days). Was this ethical, or did Michael cheat his kids?

Answer: Not only did MORE

Paying for your partner’s divorce

Jeanne Fleming, Ph.D., and Leonard Schwarz — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:58:48 +0000

by JEANNE FLEMING, PH.D. and LEONARD SCHWARZ

Question: The man I love is married to another woman. He wants to leave her, but he says that he can't afford to get a divorce - that he'll lose his house and end up with huge child support payments. I have the resources to help him out. But I'm wondering, is it ethical for me, his girlfriend, to subsidize Danny's divorce? Answer: There is MORE

Should friends charge finder’s fees?

Karen McGowan — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 16:37:38 +0000

by JEANNE FLEMING, PH.D. and LEONARD SCHWARZ

Question: A good friend is investing $25,000 in an alternative-energy deal that looks very promising. He says he can arrange for me to get into it, but in exchange he wants 10% of whatever profit I make. I think he's being incredibly greedy, but he says that he deserves to be compensated for opening an otherwise closed door. Does he?

Answer: If the dealmaker's MORE